The BMS Project

STEP TWO: YOUNG ADULTS (18 - +23)

Hello.  No, longer a minor and you are now “purportedly” the captain of your own fate.  Others’ expectations, your own self expectations, your commitments and responsibilities can now hang around your neck like an albatross.  Believe us when we say that we know that it can become a heavy cross to bear.  You now might be still competing as an amateur, or as a collegiate (whatever that is now) or a professional level.  In adherence to our cultural, societal norms, you may have by now wrapped yourself in an insulating cocoon of superficial toughness and perseverance …traits strongly associated with being an able, accomplished, tough minded competitor.

Is that you who you are? Have injuries and the judgments of other prevented you from accomplishing your goals?  Have your own natural ability limitations prevented from achieving your goals?  

It is easy for others to shrug their shoulder and say, so what?  We say, the “what” is that you are a human being with human frailties and vulnerabilities …with emotions and feelings.  We say “what” is that sports are a means to an end and should never be allowed to morph into feelings or intentions to commit self harm.  If you have allowed obstacles to become corrosive prisons eating away at your self esteem and worth, then stop it.  If you cannot do it by yourself, get help.  That’s where we come in.  Explore the options to get mental health/lifestyle improvement advice.  

Those that would exploit you for their own self gain and accomplishment are not there for you …they are there to use you.  Recognize their wolf’s cloak and either cast them aside or seek the assistance from others to recover your self esteem, self worth and to bring meaning and joy back into your life.

Was D1 really right for you?  How do you feel about that?   Are there other levels of competition that better fit you and your situation …your life satisfaction?  Were the commitments that you made to yourself and other written in blood?  Did you auction off and sell your soul in exchange for their good opinion of you?  The answer is NO!  YOU DID NOT!    

The effort to win is very important, but it IS NOT everything.  Your life, your loved ones’ feelings for you, your life partners, your children, your parents, your true friends …they represent everything.

At 18, it all comes into play and lands squarely on you like an anvil …money, grades, life partner relationships, your gender identification, professional careers.  Are you better suited to be a scholar, a teacher, an artist, a musician… to become an author, a good parent, a coach, an administrator …to become an advocate for all of the good things in sports?  Only you can answer these questions,  Seek the advice and counsel of those that you trust and that are vested in your well being.  Discard the users and critics …they don’t care about you, they never have and never will.

Conversely, if you can compete, achieve and have the opportunity to become a champion, do so with every fiber of your being.   Just remain mindful to not become your own worst enemy.  Your opinion counts most.  If circumstances conspire and become insurmountable, go find a climbable mountain to climb.  Teach your kids the same values.  Keep your moral compass aligned …that starts with taking care of yourself.    

KEEP YOUR GRATITUDE HIGHER THAN YOUR EXPECTATIONS!